Check out my author’s blog on the University of Wales Press’s website.
Toxic Mentoring
Check out my MPC presentation on toxic mentoring. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jVolFTeux4&feature=youtu.be Please share and let’s spread the word about this under-discussed issue.
The Power of the Pause
‘I can’t believe I said that!’ I open my mouth, verbalising my thoughts, before realising I should have probably kept quiet. It’s a trap the more garrulous amongst us often fall into. I work hard to pause, count to two or even three to consider what I’m about to say before offering a contribution. Is it that we are simply afraid of silence, filling each empty second with something, no matter how irrelevant?
Mindfulness teaches us about the power of breathing, a mindful minute where we just focus on our breath can ease tension, calm nerves and invite considered thought. In mentoring, use of the pause can also be a powerful tool, allowing the mentee space to think and the mentor time to analyse. When mentoring, it takes herculean strength for me to hush the constant commentator within, but when I do I am always surprised at the result. Taking a moment to embrace the quiet and reflect upon the preceding discussion can enlighten thought processes and progress the session to an earlier solution. Agree at the outset, as part of your contract with each other, that you will embrace any pauses that naturally occur and use these moments to think deeply about what has been said. The mentor should endeavour to let the mentee reopen the discussion after a pause, taking the lead so they may fully benefit from such opportunities.
This is also an important element of Distal Mentoring (explored in The Mentor’s Companion A Guide to Good Mentoring Practice). Rather than offering an immediate solution, pause to see if the mentee has any ideas. Options they promote themselves are more likely to be implemented as they acknowledge ownership. It also builds confidence and is respectful. When a mentor pays the compliment of taking ideas seriously it can be very empowering.
How to Set up a mentoring scheme
Anyone tasked with setting up an organisational mentoring scheme from scratch may wonder ‘Where do I start?’ and find their choices somewhat bewildering. But there’s no need to panic, you just need to begin with a plan. Here are a few pointers to consider to get you going.
- Clearly establish the purpose of your scheme – what is it you want to achieve. Understanding the rationale will help you to plan the structure, the most appropriate model, and the practicalities, for example, how it will be administered and by whom.
- What is your marketing strategy? You may have to ‘sell’ the idea to secure resources and funding. Draw up a convincing business case.
- The role of Coordinator. Administering your scheme involves many functions; overseeing it, attracting members, matching dyads, mediating between mentors and mentees, controlling budgets and communicating with stakeholders. It is often an unsung and unappreciated burden but can be key to the success of a scheme.
- How will you find your mentors? What training or guidance will you provide? How will you ensure continued interest and support? A successful scheme can be an organisation’s pride and joy which elevates its reputation. This will attract quality mentors but how will you look after them?
- Assessment and evaluation. This matters, particularly if you have ambitions to grow. Stakeholders often want evidence that their investment is justified so expect to provide statistics to back it up.